Forward thinking is not as elusive as it perhaps seems and it is also not a destination, rather a concept that takes constant re-evaluation and consideration. To be stuck is to accept and embrace the lot of your life as it currently is without any work spent to grow, mature, or ascend beyond the status quo. Forward thinking is a practice, not a fixed trait, and we are all capable of breaking down barriers within our minds and behaviors to help us engage in forward thinking more regularly. Does this mean you will change all your values, morals, and desires? Absolutely not! Forward thinking enables you to evaluate your values, morals, and desires on a regular basis while allowing you to see how your behaviors are measuring up. Turns out, one of the number one reasons people go to therapy is because they have a behavior that is not aligning with their own value system. Sometimes the behavior needs to be adjusted and perhaps, sometimes the values need clarification. We are a work in progress and to get where we would like to go, we must build capacity within ourselves for forward thinking, or we will simply travel in one circle after another.

In the first two parts to this series on Adapting to Forward Thinking, we looked at the importance of becoming the driver of your thoughts and emotions, rather than the passenger. Through routine relaxation and a little effort to build awareness to the thoughts that drive difficult emotions, we can begin replacing those thoughts for better and healthier outcomes. We also engaged in learning mindfulness skills and behavioral strategies to reduce self-judgment. Learning to build awareness and take a non-judgmental stance by learning to observe and describe situations by using factual language, rather than judgments rooted in emotion, builds resilience to challenge and strife. We can learn how our thoughts and emotions feed each other and sometimes starve each other and this leads to higher Emotional Intelligence (EQ). These skills and others similar, along with something else is tantamount to successful practice of forward thinking. The trifecta of forward thinking if you will.

Driving your thoughts/feelings + Reducing self and outward judgment + Self- Care= Forward Thinking.

Of course, we are not talking about plain old boring remedies for self-care. Daily routines lacking joy and creativity, while dripping in the mundane snuffs out the spark required to ignite forward thinking. Now, if you have an illness in which you should keep a more rigid routine, please do not deviate from the schedule that promotes your stability and wellness. With that being said, it is absolutely possible to still work in enough spontaneity and joy. This goes so far beyond brushing your teeth, getting enough sleep, and staying hydrated. Yes, do those things! But, also, do the things that feed your soul. Not what society tells you to do, but what you need to thrive and function.

There are multiple components that make up the complex parts of us that need nurturing to thrive. An illustration I have always loved to demonstrate this can be found at OlgaPhoenix.com. The Self-Care Wheel is nearly all encompassing of things for us to think about when we consider taking better care of ourselves. The wheel lists six areas self-care is needed: Physical, Psychological, Emotional, Spiritual, Personal, and Professional. There are many examples listed under each section to provide ideas on ways to nurture these areas- Think prayer and meditation for spiritual self-care, or cuddling with a pet for emotional self-care. We cannot be condensed to words on a sheet, however, and maybe can even identify other parts of us, for instance, our creativity. How you do, well, you, is completely personal and no one can tell you how to do it. Maybe you are a bit of a classic and simple person that needs 20 minutes of exercise, a good book, and a warm blanket to rest quietly alone. Or maybe you are a thrill-seeking type and need high intensity interval training, seeing new heights literally and figuratively, and taking time to plan out your adventures through writing or sketching. Maybe you had a bad day and need to snuggle your pet, journal, vent to a friend, or cry it out.

We are a complex and intricate human system designed to take on many hardships and victories in life. When we are a passenger to our emotions and riddled with self-doubt and judgment, we rob ourselves of the ability to expand our resilience, experience increased joyfulness, and find deeper satisfaction in life. I could go on and on, but I believe you get the idea. Not everyone needs or wants expensive spa days that are not in the budget, or extreme travel destinations to feel nurtured, inspired, and fully engaged in their life. It does not matter what society tells you, or what your friends and family tell you. What matters is that you search your soul to find the things that are truly meaningful to you and do those things to build character, greater limits, awareness of your boundaries, and deep spiritual and personal reflection. We do not have to accept a feeling of coasting through life, being beaten down, or of needing to please others with our actions. When you evaluate which areas, you need more nurturing in and the acts that help you thrive, you need not worry what others think and you will likely be so fulfilled that you will seldom even worry about it. You need only ask yourself if what you are doing is healthy, not harmful to another, and giving you what you need to contribute productively to the greater good of society. This is where we find our home in humanity.

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