The holidays are a time that is a chance to reflect on what is important, connect with others, and set personal goals for the following year. Full of hustle and bustle for many, there can be a sense of magic and love in the air. For others it can be a tumultuous and traumatizing, or at least unsettling time. Emotions are often triggered for both the love of the season and perhaps the horrors of the past, or the losses experienced. It is not a time that is one or the other, rather a mix of emotions and responsibilities, rather to the self or to a family.

This mix of emotions can be challenging, difficult, draining, and may lead to emotional dysregulation and depressive symptoms during this time of year. There are ways to care for yourself to lessen the impact and transition effectively with changing emotions. Emotional dysregulation and depressive symptoms may creep up at different times. When a memory hits us, or a disappointment to what we want, as opposed to what we get this time of year and what we can spend on celebrating. Yes, the joy of the season is what we are striving for, but it is necessary to acknowledge the counterintuitive emotions to our desired holiday vibe.

Checking in with yourself regularly is an important part of being responsible with self-care. If you are on medication and experiencing overwhelming feelings, talk to your prescriber regarding your experience. Ensuring upholding nutrition is an important part of managing our body and balancing the mind through the gut brain connection. How we nourish ourselves also impacts our brain plasticity. Basic physical self-care is the foundation for being able to reach out and take care of ourselves in other ways. We are not just physical, but spiritual and emotional beings, as well.

Nurturing our emotional health will look different for everyone, as it is individualistic and highly personal. The Self-Care Wheel from Olga Phoenix highlights many ways to consider in taking care of your emotional health and needs. Some of the suggestions include finding a hobby to help keep you busy and distract when emotions are high and volatile. Give yourself affirmations and the permission to accept these affirmations that may or may not come naturally. Find ways to give yourself love, say “I love you,” to self and others you are close with, and when needed, have a good cry. Crying is completely healthy and an effective way to express emotions. Writing your experience down can also be helpful in caring for emotional dysregulation, restoring balance. Other ways include practicing forgiveness for self and others (also a part of spiritual care), flirting with others, watching comedies, cuddling with pets, and even buying yourself a present. All these ways can help us sort out difficult emotions and intentionally take steps to nurture our feelings and overcome our challenges.

Spiritual self-care is not far off from emotional self-care. The tactics can be interchangeable with a focus on either nurturing an emotional wound or deficit, such as nurturing our inner child, or can be with a spiritual focus on connecting to something greater than ourselves and our world around us. Spirituality helps us form fellowship, community, and deep friendships. Some examples from Olga Phoenix on ways to nurture spiritual self-care include, taking time to self-reflect, get out and enjoy nature, find spiritual fellowship and community, and learn to pray and meditate- they are one in the same for their positive effects. Singing, dancing, yoga, volunteering, watching sunrises and sunsets, and taking a dip in the ocean are also noted and can easily be used for emotional self-care as well. All of these are ways of emotional and spiritual expression that are necessary to connect with to have a full experience and closeness to our own humanity. These tactics keep us grounded, and more regulated and disciplined, as well. Emotional and spiritual self-care need not be neglected but come at the heart of all our self-care and means of emotional regulation. Picking just one thing to focus on can carry you a long way, and I hope there was at least one thing on this list that you resonated with to bring forward into your holiday season. © 2022